UNEASY, they say, lies the head that wears the crown. “Crown” here symbolises not the cap or whatever that traditional rulers use to cover the head but those in position of authority; for instance, presidents, governors, ministers, commissioners, local government chairpersons, legislators, captains of industry, among others. This saying is no truer of any leader than it is of Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. How many times, and in how many places, far and near, do you think Tinubu’s name is mentioned in a day – for good or for bad? In those days whenever one’s ears began to howl, it was interpreted to mean that someone must be calling our name! In my native Owo (Ogho), Grandma and Mom, both taught me to tap my ears and say, “Eti mi, r’okoomo ire!” Literally interpreted, this means “my ears, embark on a journey to the world of good and not of evil” Now, how many times do you think President Tinubu’s ears will howl in a day? His name must be mentioned by millions of people millions of times every day! So, will his ears ever stop howling if this belief is true? And what do you think will be the percentage of those calling his name for good, vis-a-vis those calling it for evil?
There is also this belief that those who act for the Crown (interpreted to mean the Government) are not affected by curses, enchantments and divinations. The symbol of authority of the Crown, which is a nation’s coat-of-arms, is said to neutralise or ward away evil arrows targeted at such persons. In Yoruba, they are called “a-gbe-f’oba”, meaning those who stand in for the king (Crown or Government) who is never found guilty. Which is why, they say, whenever a uniformed person commits an offence and is to be punished, the first thing they do is remove every symbol or insignia of the Crown on him or her before the offender. That must be the reason why those in authority are able to survive the curses that people daily rain on them – be it deserved, be it inappropriate. If curses can kill instantly, I do not think we will have a single soul left to govern Nigeria! Those in authority are the proverbial carnivorous bird named “awodi oke”, which the Yoruba say eats the forbidden meals and rather than be negatively affected, grows luxuriantly still! “Awodi jeun epe san’ra!”
Secrets behind Tinubu’s invincibility
Last week, a friend asked to know from me why PDP governors and other leaders were emptying themselves into the ruling APC. I replied that I had not given it a serious thought. What had occupied my mind at that particular point in time was another write-up on the same Tinubu on what the social media called his “secrets”, which they wanted him to share with Nigerians. Tinubu, a political footballer (perhaps, the GOAT of our time), mesmerises opponents better than Diego Armando Maradona. GOAT means “Greatest Of All Times”). He dribbles like Leo Messi. When you think Messi has lost control and is about to hit the canvas is when he stabilizes and miraculously flips the ball over his opponents into this or that corner of the net! Tinubu, they said, must tell us the secrets of his survival at points that everyone would have said it was all over for him. He appears more than the proverbial cat with nine lives, if you calculate the close shaves with defeat he has hard. At every turn, he turned adversity into opportunities to mount with wings as an eagle and soar even higher.
What missiles have they not thrown at him? No known father, no known mother, no known primary or secondary school, no known classmates, and no known childhood friends! Controversies surround his childhood days, his certificates and credentials are contested. What you think you know about him ends up being what you do not know. And what you do not know is what gains traffic and currency, as if it is an open book. This, then, is an enigma. He ought to have been down and out a long time ago, felled by an avalanche of cuts, each of it worse than what Brutus dealt his friend Julius Caesar. Yet, Tinubu stands gidigba like an iroko; daring his enemies to throw more punches, and taunting them like Muhammed Ali would Sonny Liston and Joe Frazier, among others. He, then, is what the Yoruba call “akanda enia”, which Fela Anikulapo-Kuti reframed into “Ebami eda”. They come far-in-between. Take it or leave it, they are not ordinary personalities – for good or evil. Will history ever forget Adolf Hitler, for instance? Like that Christian song posits, some are fearfully and wonderfully made by God; what they make of it, however, is another matter entirely.
Whenever I hear them speak of Tinubu in the fashion of “no mother, no father, no known ancestry, etc”, my mind usually goes to biblical Melchizedek, whose lineage remains shrouded in mystery, like that of Elijah, who was described just as “Elijah the Tishbite”. Melchizedek likewise was described simply as “king of Salem (and) priest of the most high God” (Genesis 14: 18). Yet, none of that diminished the important roles they played in biblical times. I am not sure anyone got to know the mysteries surrounding Melchizedek, except that he was described by Bible scholars as a type of Jesus Christ, the Saviour of mankind. Elijah, on his own, was the man who decreed there would be no rain and rain obeyed him for three-and-half years until he changed his mind! He also called down fire from heaven as well as ascended into heaven in a chariot of fire. Did Elijah share the secrets of his success story with Elisha, his successor? Will Tinubu share the secrets of his own success story with Nigerians?
Tinubu is not done yet. He is still right in the middle of what the Yoruba call “agbami” – the middle of the deepest part of a deep, blue sea. Elijah waited until he was about to leave before commanding Elisha to ask him anything. The Yoruba have a saying, to wit, “T’omodebamoayinike, ko le moayinipada”. Daddy once said he asked his father-in-the-Lord – after that one had taught him “ayinike” – to also teach him “ayinipada” But his father-in-Lord reportedly told him it was not yet time for that! Again, as the Yoruba would say, what the elders use to eat “eko” or “agidi”, as some people call it, they hide under the leaves used to wrap the “agidi”, away from prying eyes. It is not every cloth that is spread out to dry in the sun. Women especially do not like spreading out their briefs to dry outside in the sun!
The story of biblical Samson teaches everyone object lessons. Men, especially those in positions of authority, must beware the ides of women! Samson didn’t, and see where he landed himself! Each time I read the story, I wonder why Samson fell for it. Were there no beautiful women in his own land of Israel, that Samson had to venture into the land of the perennial enemies of his people – the Philistines? But as it was then, so it is today! Men hardly learn from history. So do we have many today who still venture into strange lands in search of their own Delilah. But, perhaps, a more dispassionate way of looking at it is to say that every man has his own Delilah. Every Achilles has his susceptible heel!
Why are the governors defecting?
As to the question why PDP governors and other party bigwigs are flowing into APC, there are many reasons that have been advanced. One is that “ki n se oju won lasan”; meaning that it is not their ordinary eyes! Have they been bewitched? “Isasi abi edi?“ No one plays politics with ordinary eyes. Politics is a place where, if you want to eat the food of “gboin-gboin”, you’ve got to lock your door “gboin-gboin”! A “scientific” explanation is that the greed and selfish interests of the decampees having met a willing suitor in second term-chasing BAT, a deal is cut. The quantum of money the governors take home these days is something else. They have never been so blessed. In many of the states, there has been no trickle down effects and the president does not appear anxious to kick the butts of the governors and ginger them into action in that respect. Maybe he will after securing a second term of office. For now, it is enough to just corral them into his corner. Those ones, too, know they have him by the balls – at least for now. The governor of Enugu state was forthright enough to say that any governor who does not support Tinubu’s second term bid is an ingrate. Tinubu has been so kind to them. They have never had it this chummy.
Talks about problems in the opposition parties are mere convenient excuses by the defectors. It is to fulfill constitutional provisions. You should say “thank you” to someone who has been so good to you. Beside, some of the governors may harbour plans to go to the Senate, which is fast becoming the Old People’s home for ex-governors. For those seeking re-election, the music according to “crooner” Tinubu must continue. Says William Shakespeare (in Twelfth Night): “If music be the food of life/ Play on/Give me excess of it/That, surfeiting/The appetite may sicken/And so die/That strain again/It has a dying fall!” The Tinubu music is melodious to their ears. Money talks, as they say! The headstrong ones among them have stories to tell at the DSS and EFCC’s! If you think there is no sufficient evidence to nail those pilfering the Treasury, you are wrong! Such evidence, in many instances, is simply meant to beat the recalcitrant into line. A former governor was fond of echoing a Yoruba proverb, to wit: “You ask a thief to drop what he stole; he obeys. Then you ask him to run, and he runs. There is no justification to keep pursuing him!” Our elders and their proverbs that give them away are duplicitous and connivers with evil!
Steal hundreds of billions of Naira; negotiate and drop a few billions and keep the rest. Run from the opposition to the ruling party and, like Adams Oshiomhole once told us during the presidency of Muhammadu Buhari, your “sins” are instantly forgiven! Erstwhile governor of Ekiti state, Ayo Fayose, has said three more PDP governors are waiting in the wings to join APC. If those three do not already include Osun and Rivers, then, PDP may have less than five governors remaining in its fold at the end of the day. With NNDP, APGA and Labour Party controlling only one state each, the opposition may be returning to its unsavoury situation under President Olusegun Obasanjo’s second term in office.
But there is nothing that has disadvantages that does not also have its own advantages. If we can produce the next president through consensus, we can save all the billions wasted on the conduct of elections here. We can also save ourselves the stress, strife and violence that claim lives at every election cycle. Don’t forget that there have been calls for what they called our own authentic “home-grown” democracy! We can “elect” the next president by popular acclamation of state governors and party bigwigs and return democracy to its original state as it was practised in the Greek city-states. What the vile dictator, Sani Abacha, struggled in vain to achieve – with mortars, guns, soldiers, assassinations and brutal murders – we may achieve without firing a shot!
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